it seems like the storm has died down a little bit now. people are still calling, but less frequently. it seems like i have less to do. i have to leave the house today. i have to take off the clothes that i've been wearing for the past two days and take a shower.
bill and i are going to see our therapist this morning. i hope it will help.
tomorrow we go to san diego for the service. i can't bring myself to say the other word. funeral.
it's funny actually, because it's been hard for me to use euphemisms in my own head. i've only been using them with other people who i tell, my brother passed away on friday. yes it was of natural causes. yes it was fast and he wasn't in any pain.
the voice that's been marching in circles in my head can only say, my brother is dead, my brother is dead, my brother is dead. for some reason i'm not saying it nicely to myself.
what's the point?
my brother is dead.
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