Sunday, September 28, 2008

the last night before the first day

it's been a crazy couple of days here. i've done lots of running around and visiting, and some drinking here and there. tonight was pretty quiet, which was more than a small blessing. now i'm lying in bed alone, as bill insisted upon separating until the wedding. there's definitely something great about it, as it seems to increase the gravity of seeing each other for the first time again.

i like our life together, i love our family and friends and the community that we've built around us. bill is a good man and we love each other without pretense. tomorrow will be a great day.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The end of today:

I spent all day today running around accomplishing. As I'm sitting right now listening to my walking-down-the-aisle song, it occurs to me that I'm getting married in five days. I love Bill.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The day before the family comes...

Today is the last day off that I will have before many of my loved ones, from all over the globe I might add, descend upon Chicago. I'm really excited to see all of them, as for many it has been a great number of years since our last visit.

I do have some small measure of anxiety though. It's a sort of an amusing feeling--a picture in my head of all of them swooping in from the air and surrounding me.

My uncle actually called me yesterday to tell me that at the last minute he and my cousin are able to come. I'm really happy that they will be attending. This particular uncle has had a very dodgy relationship with my father for most of their adult lives. As such, I have never been terribly close to him or his family. It's pretty amazing that he's another part of my father's family that is rallying behind me when the man himself can't seem to get his act together.

I talked to Becky (my step-sister) the other day. It was super tough talking to her. It had been quite a long while since the last time. Pete told me that she has been declining of late, but it was really hard to hear it. I apologized to her that I hadn't called her and told her that I loved her and missed her. It was hard to tell if she understood it or not. It made me miss my family. It's funny though actually: I don't miss the old family per se, I miss what I believed my family to be before all of this drama happened. I'm not the type of person to take the blue pill in general, but sometimes I wish I were.

It's the to-do list that has really been keeping me going more than anything. I don't know what I would do without it really. I have a massive section of it to tackle today actually, yet I'm trapped in my computer once more. I need to escape and clean myself.